Toddlers are in their so-called preoperational period. A feature of this period is egocentrism. Toddlers do not yet have the ability to put themselves in another place. In addition, they are developing their own self, which means that they are learning that they are a person themselves and can influence the environment around them. This can sometimes be quite a challenge when it comes to parenting, but it is hugely important for their development!

Egocentrism

Egocentrism comes in two forms: the lack of awareness that others see things from a different physical perspective, and the inability to realize that others have thoughts, feelings, and points of view that are different from one’s own thoughts, feelings, and points of view. For example, behavior you often see is that they talk to themselves, even in the presence of others, occasionally they just ignore what others say to them. They also love dressing up and role playing. For them it is playful learning to put themselves in someone else’s place and to see what they feel most comfortable with. They will also be able to hide behind their own hands, because they assume that if they cannot see others, then others cannot see them. They think that others have the same perspective as they do, which can lead to hilarious but sometimes complicated situations.

If you ask your toddler what sets them apart from other children, they often immediately have an answer along the lines of: I can run really fast or I’m big. Such answers have to do with their self-image, their identity or the conceptions they have of themselves as a person. The comments with which children describe their self-image are not always accurate. In fact, toddlers and preschoolers tend to overestimate their abilities and their knowledge in all areas. Their vision for the future is therefore quite pleasant.

Autonomy vs Shame

At the beginning of the toddler phase, children leave the stage of autonomy versus shame and doubt, which roughly lasts from eighteen months to three years. This means that a child, when given the freedom to explore within the safe frameworks, will develop into an independent and autonomous person. If he is overprotected and does not get enough opportunity to learn from experiences himself, he will start to doubt himself more.

Toddlers still find it difficult to regulate their emotions. From the age of two they are already better able to talk about their feelings, but they still need help in devising strategies on how best to deal with this. It is therefore important that you recognize their feelings, name them and explain how to deal with these situations. A secure attachment is therefore important to give your little one sufficient self-confidence to develop as well as possible.

Because your little one strives for autonomy at this age, but is not yet able to control his emotions himself, this can be quite a challenge during bedtime.

Solution-oriented thinking

What is also characteristic of this age is that your toddler has the inability to think through a series of events, which leads to a solution. In order to arrive at solutions, we must be able to make a mental image of the events and to think them back step by step. Here too, it can be helpful to make a toddler poster with visual support together with your toddler, so that he will understand the rules better. You can then practice these rules with a doll or a stuffed animal, so that you can be sure that your little one understands the rules. Your little one is currently also in the so-called animistic phase, where he believes that inanimate objects have a life and have mental processes. So they believe that their cuddly toys also have feelings, making this a powerful resource to deploy.

By doing it together you give your little one the feeling of involvement and responsibility. You will see that everything you use has a more positive effect, because the child will then also feel more responsible about the agreements made.

Sources

Feldman, R.,S. (2016). Ontwikkelingspsychologie. Amsterdam, Netherlands: Pearson Benelux.

Purdue, E. (2013). Baby Sleep Consultant Training. Geraadpleegd op: https://babysleepconsultanttraining.com/training/

Zimbardo, P.G., Johnson, R.L. & McCann, V. (2014). Psychologie een inleiding. Amsterdam, 

Netherlands: Pearson Benelux.